21 lucky translators can't pass this one up, surely?

From: Ricky Ricardo
To: (a list of 21 lucky sworn translators in the Berlin area)
Subject: Translation order for ENG - Ricky Ricardo


Hello,


I would like to order certified translations from German to English from you for the documents in the attachment for purposes of submission to a bank in Spain.


Please consider the following information in calculating your fee:


- 3a_RicardoR_PaySlipsMarMay2012: Translation of the two pay records
- 3TC_RicardoR_TaxCard_CinterionWM
- 4_RICARDO PERON, RICARDO - Income Tax Declaration2011: Total cost and per page
- 4_RICARDO PERON, RICARDO - Income Tax Statement 2011: Total cost and per page (1,2 and 4)
- 4TC_RicardoR_TaxCard_CarmeqVW
- 5_RicardoR_CreditBureauSCHUFA_Certification_201206: Total cost and per page (1,3 and 4)


Can you accept this job? If so, how much would it cost? Please include an overview of the corresponding amounts for each individual document.


Please indicate the time for processing and possibly suggestions as to whether it is possible to translate only the relevant lines or pages with information (particularly for the documents where "total cost and per page" is indicated). How would the amount be re-calculated in this case?


If you have separate questions regarding this assignment, please feel free to send me your questions. I look forward to your answer; thanks in advance!


Best regards,


Ricky Ricardo

Dear Ricky,

Thank you for taking the time to research the names and e-mail addresses of so many qualified colleagues from the online translators' directory of the German translators' association BDÜ. Some of that effort might have been better invested in considering whether a mass mailing of this sort will really produce the desired result of detailed costing based on unclear instructions.
Fortunately, there are some service providers eminently qualified to provide you with the service you deserve. The Eurozone Translations Group (http://www.eurozonetranslations.com/) has all the right stuff to stuff that translation where it needs to go.


Best regards,


Kevin Lossner

Sell like a refugee!

I'm a refugee I suppose: one who fled from the clueless, tone-deaf stupidity of PowerLing as they undermined the marketing efforts of my favorite translation tools company, Atril. I think it's fair to say that a great number of the features which translators appreciate most in the modern generation of translation tools were pioneered in Atril's Déjà Vu, and the creative genius of product development there hasn't dimmed one bit as far as I can see, though the slow pace of implementation did drive me nuts at times for years.

When the sad announcement came that Atril had been taken over by its incompetent marketing partner, I thought that there might be difficult times ahead for the product. I never could have guessed how utterly embarrassing those times could be. Then last year I had the displeasure of sitting through a presentation by a rep of the New French Atril, who made me want to crawl under my chair as I watched some silly green dragon in a childish tale which I suppose was intended to teach us about the evils of SDL and possibly other competitors. Hard to tell what it was about, as it was all rather incomprehensible.

Perhaps incomprehensible is the word I should use to express some of what I think about the recent promotion for World Refugee Day. Or perhaps appalling. A shame, really, that the friend who dined so well on a dead horse by the roadside as she fled from the Russian Army and became a refugee is too far gone with Alzheimer's to take advantage of that great offer. Perhaps an ongoing discount could be offered to all those driven from their native lands who now churn words between languages to earn their bread? I wonder if we'll have another sales promotion to celebrate Եղեռնի զոհերի հիշատակի օր or perhaps the atomic bombing of Japan? Why not if it'll call the world's attention to a great product? Surely the marketing geniuses in Paris can find a way to piggyback on human trafficking for proZtitution and so many other evils that plague today's world. Go for it.