Get a clue!

A few days ago I sent the following e-mail to SDL to inquire about the cost of a maintenance & support contract:

What would a maintenance contract to cover my Trados 2007 Suite license cost?

Best regards,

Kevin Lossner
Simmer-Lossner Translations & Consulting GbR
Specialist translators for German -> English
Dorastrasse 9, 16540 Hohen Neuendorf, Germany

And after a mere day and a half I received the following reply, which landed - quite appropriately - in my junk mail folder:

Dear Mr Simmer,

Thank you for your E-Mail regarding PSMA.

We offer two levels of PSMA, which I have outlined below for you.

A PSMA offers you unlimited support both online and via telephone, (you receive a telephone nr after you have a logged a case online)

Also part of a PSMA package, are all of your upgrades, updates and service packs absolutely free of charge.

Level 1 gives you: 159€
1. hotline telephone support
2. response time to support requests by next business day
3. 1 designated representative who will be flagged as having a support contract when they put a request into the support centre

4. FREE upgrades, updates and service packs for the whole year

Level 2 has the following benefits: 198.75€
1. hotline telephone support

2. response time to support requests within 3 business hours if the request is critical

3. up to 4 designated representatives who will be flagged as having a support contract when they put a request into the support centre

4. FREE upgrades, updates and service packs for the whole year

Please do not forget that holders of a valid PSMA become automatically SDL TRADOS 2009 STUDIO FREE OF CHARGE after the release in June

Please go to www.translationzone.com for more details regarding this exciting release.

Please do not hesitate to get in contact, if you have any questions at all,

Kind regards

Steve

Steven Whale | Contracts & Renewals Executive SDL TRADOS Technologies | (T) +44 1628 417227 | (F) +44 1628 417 298 | swhale@sdl.com

This is the sort of personalized service that I have come to know and love from SDL. They can't even get my name right. I have no idea what the heck PSMA actually stands for, though I suppose the SMA part might be something like "service and maintenance agreement". It's a good think I understand German, because this letter reeks of Teutonic competence in English. I hadn't realized that an agreement with SDL would transform me into SDL Trados 2009 Studio at no cost. I think I'd rather be turned into a frog, thank you - at least I might have a chance of getting kissed by a pretty girl.

However, if I do understand this awful letter correctly, my partner's ex-husband can sign a Level 1 agreement and get the Trados upgrade cheaper as well as some alleged support. What a deal. Too bad he doesn't have a Trados license.